The author reflects on their journey of medically transitioning from female to male, starting on January 23, just three days after Donald Trump’s inauguration. This timing, coupled with Trump’s openly anti-trans policies and rhetoric, created an environment of fear and upheaval for marginalized communities, including trans individuals. The author notes the GOP’s legislative moves against access to gender-confirming care and the Supreme Court’s recent ruling that jeopardizes minors seeking such care, highlighting the systemic violence against trans existence.
Despite the oppressive political climate, transitioning has been framed as a profound source of personal liberation and resistance. The author grapples with the fear surrounding identity documents that may not align with their presentation, while drawing strength from their journey. They find solace in exploring the concept of “the erotic,” as described by Audre Lorde, emphasizing the power of unexpressed feelings that can fuel change.
Throughout this process, connection to creativity becomes a vital means of reclaiming power and embracing transformation. The author discovers miracles in small moments of support from friends, such as learning to shave and sharing creative projects like music-making. They emphasize that the act of transitioning is not solitary but relational, intertwining personal growth with communal relationships.
The author ultimately underscores that while horrors exist in the world, embracing joy, creativity, and personal authenticity offers an antidote to suffering. The journey of transitioning highlights the larger universal experience of transformation, suggesting that dignity and divinity are inherent and cannot be stripped away by oppressive forces.
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